My Balls and My Word

So I have family staying with us who are strong TBMs. Why is it just a non-spoken given that we are supposed to always follow the religion of our fathers? Why is it that on Mondays they do not ask if it would be appropriate to have an LDS-centered FHE? where is he respect? How come they can’t fathom that maybe this family doesn’t accept their prophets anymore? Maybe this family is Pagan now. Maybe they’re simply Christian. Maybe they’re deists. Maybe they’re agnostic. What if we decided to be baptist? Would there be an unspoken rule that whenever so and so is over we still preach the BS of our fathers?

Part of me wants to just fake it for sake of the familial relationships but I can’t do that for a couple of reasons.

First off, thats such a cop out. It’s the easy way out. Treading your own course in the unknown wildereness is harder than just going down the beaten path so well trodden by my parents and ancestors. It’s harder to be an apostate among family and community. It can be hard! But do I really want to half ass it giving religion it’s unspoken reverance and then have my own children one day develop relationship-destroying beliefs and personlities? Do I want hem to go thru what me and my wife have to go thru with our parents? Do I want that same possible scenario for my grandkids?

It’s the harder path but it’s what has been ingrained in me for three decades of church membership: integrity and standing up for the truth! I can’t fake believing or even putting up with (I know there’s a better word I’m not thinking of) the church or religion in general. Like John Dehlin said “if u took the Mormon out of me I would be like takin the framin out of a house” and that’s why I must be true to myself and my integrity. And as bob McCue has said (alluding to he fact that it’s a hard path to go down being an apostate) “I’d rather tak these arrows now than have my children take them later”. I respect that so much and always remember those words. It’s what keeps me from being a NOM or sunstone Mormon.

Integrity. What else do u have?

“all I’ve got is my balls and my word and I don’t break em for no one!” – quote from a mob movie.

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~ by Anubys on August 11, 2009.

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